


No Longer Alone

by ninaloveshiddles



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, Secrets, Self-Harm, Sweet, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 19:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4361912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninaloveshiddles/pseuds/ninaloveshiddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader has been at the bunker for a while, and Dean begins to notice that she always wears long sleeves and heavy bracelets. One day when the air conditioner breaks, he asks her about it. She starts crying and confesses that she self-harms. She gets very upset because she’s worried the Winchesters will kick her out. Dean is there to comfort her; he would never kick her out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Longer Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [somanydestiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/somanydestiel/gifts).



> Here it is! Please let me know if you have any changes or suggestions. I tried to treat this subject with the sensitivity and respect it deserves.

You walk around the bunker, looking for a book so you can finish your research. You go to the bookcase and begin to paw through the shelves. You know you saw the book yesterday; it didn’t just up and walk away. You begin to feel very warm, and sweat runs down your back. You groan in annoyance: here you are in a mythical bunker, and the air conditioning is broken. You refuse to take off your sweater and bracelets though; no way in hell.

You wipe the sweat from your forehead, continuing to look. Dean walks in the room, a smile on his pink lips. “What are you up to?” he questions, regarding you in amusement.

“I can’t find this fucking book,” you complain petulantly. Dean gives a deep chuckle, smiling in a way that makes your heart flutter.

“Oh you mean this one?” he says nonchalantly as he pulls a book from right in front of your face. You roll your eyes, trying not to smile at Dean.

“If it was a snake it would have bitten me.” You grab the book from Dean, taking a deep breath as you try to cool yourself off.

“Why the hell are you wearing that sweater?” Dean questions, regarding your flushed face and sweaty hair. “It’s like an oven in here, and you look like you’re going to pass out” he explains, concern in his voice.

“Oh it’s not that bad” you respond nervously, suddenly wishing you were anywhere else but here.

“Look I know you like that sweater, but maybe you could make an exception?” Dean pauses for a second, his eyebrows furrowed in contemplation. “Actually, I’ve never seen you in short sleeves” he prompts, regarding you suspiciously.

“Sure you have” you reply weakly, your stomach turning under his gaze, and you feel like your insides are in knots.

“No, I really don’t think so. And you always wear those thick bracelets, even though they get in the way when you hunt.”

You feel the tears prick in your eyes as you become increasingly anxious from the situation. “Dean, please drop it” you beg, your voice becoming shaky.

“Why do your wear long sleeves all the time?” he questions you, his eyes narrowing. You become overwhelmed, and your walls begin to crumble under his intense gaze. You feel the tears begin to stream down, they are hot and sting your cheeks. You can’t help it; you fall to your knees, holding your face in your hands.

“Oh fuck” Dean mutters, dropping to his knees immediately to capture you in his arms. “Shhh it’s ok” he soothes, not really sure what is going on. You begin to heave, your sobs taking hold of your entire body. You don’t want to cry in front of Dean, you can’t let him know. But you’re so tired of keeping the secret, you’re tired of being alone.

“I’m sorry” you manage, staining Dean’s shirt with your tears.

“Why? I don’t understand” Dean responds, his voice laced with confusion.

You slowly pull up your sweater sleeve, your chest constricting. Your hands tremble furiously as you reveal your wrist, and you close your eyes tight to avoid Dean’s gaze. You know what he sees; multiple long, red, angry lines on your wrist. Some old, some extremely new, and some scarred over and white from forever ago. But each one visible and exposed now, suffering the stare of the Winchester.

You dare to peek at him, and you see a small tear from one of his enchanting green eyes. Oh no. What if he’s disappointed? What if he judges you? He couldn’t possibly understand. This was an awful idea!

“Oh my god” he whispers, and you prepare yourself for the worst. _You’re just doing it for attention. How could you do this to me?  Why don’t you just stop? If you don’t stop, you have to leave the bunker._ You let out another sob, thinking about leaving. This was your home now, and you have grown extremely close to the Winchesters. What Dean says stops you in your tracks. “I’m so sorry” he whispers, “You are so incredibly brave.”

You sniffle and look up into his eyes, your face incredulous. “What?” You feel anything but brave.

“I can’t imagine feeling as alone as you must feel, and I’m so sorry. I understand if you don’t want to talk, but I’m here for you” he urges, squeezing you tighter.

“Wait, so, you’re not going to kick me out?” you ask in between small cries and gasps for air.

“Because of this? Why on earth would I do that to you? I- I want to understand what you are feeling. I want to help you; I mean, if you want my help. I don’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable.”

Your lip quivers as you look at Dean, his strong jaw clenched. “I- I don’t know. I just feel so alone sometimes” you begin, trying to catch a deep enough breath. The words begin to tumble out of your mouth. “Sometimes it’s all just too much, and when I cut myself, it’s like I can finally feel something. Like all the bad stuff is finally leaving” you explain, suddenly embarrassed. “I know how dumb that must sound. You and Sam go through the same shit I do, and you guys handle it.”

“Don’t say that” Dean says sternly, lifting up your chin so he can look into your eyes. “We all have different ways of dealing with life. It’s not easy; but I’m here for you. Please talk to me. I want to help you because…because I love you (y/n).”

“Huh?” you respond in pure disbelief.

“Yes. You are so amazing, strong, and beautiful. And I’m so sorry that someone as wonderful as you has to feel this way. You don’t deserve that. You deserve to feel loved and happy.”

“Dean” you choke out, grabbing him around the neck. You both are so close that your noses are touching, delicately rubbing together. He slowly closes the gap and gives you a very soft, warm kiss. His lips send tingles through your body, and his hands gently rub against your back, comforting you.

“I know this is going to be a long journey. But I want to be here for you. We can figure this out together, I promise.” You nod slowly, stroking his face as his stubble tickles your palm.

“Thank you” you whisper. Dean gives you a small smile before pulling you closer. He leans his back against the bookcase, and he captures your body, wrapping his legs around you. You nuzzle into the crook of his neck, releasing the rest of your tears. Dean slowly rocks you, his arms protective and strong, as if they are threatening anything that might try to hurt you.

Dean is right; it’s going to be a long journey. It’s not going to be solved overnight, no matter how much you wish it could be. But you know of one thing; Dean Winchester is there for you. Even if he doesn’t understand, he is willing try. And at this point, it’s exactly what you need. He will never know how important he is to you; how helpful a sympathetic ear and a warm heart can be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you all enjoyed.


End file.
